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Monday, September 19, 2011

RAIN and Mondays...

I woke up to the most glorious sound at about 5am....the sound of rain! At first, I was totally confused. Being 16" below the yearly average for rain had me skeptical that we'd ever see rain again. It was glorious. I just stared out the window and watched, with a thankful heart, as the ground soaked up the much-needed rain. Thank you, Lord, for Your provision!!!

This week marks the beginning of a really busy week. Joey has speech therapy this morning and I get to have lunch with Shiloh during that time. Then its off to an AA meeting with a classmate - don't go without your buddy!!! And no, I'm not an alcoholic....we have to do this for part of our mental health clinical hours :-) BSF is tonight and I'm looking forward to it. Its one of the best parts of my week. Drum-roll please...I start my Labor and Delivery clinicals tomorrow morning at St. Joe's. I hope to make some good contacts here and that in a year, they'll remember me...in a good way ;) Speaking of...I'm pretty sure that a care-plan needs to be completed for this. Hmmm. I'll have to get on that. Then I work afterwards till 11pm. Tomorrow is a LONG day. Wednesday I volunteer in Shiloh's classroom and we have home church Wednesday night after Shiloh's swim practice and soccer meeting. Thursday I have to go take my OB exam at Blinn, then I work from 2-11. Friday I have BSF leader's meeting - EARLY - then I'm FREEEEEE Friday...until Shiloh's swim practice at 530. Man, I'm tired just looking at all I have to do .

Which is why its a good thing that His mercies are new every morning...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Be Still...

I was lying in bed, minding my own business and quite content to be sleeping soundly when little Miss decided to invade my personal space last night at 2am. She will come in to our room and then stand there at the side of the bed. Sometimes, she'll make up the funniest or most pitiful excuses in the world to try and come in to bed with us. Alas, we've resigned that she's just not ready to sleep on her own all night yet. But I still thinks its funny..."Me sick, Mommy (fakes coughing), my throat hurts (fake coughs again), LOL.

So I bring her up into bed and I'm lying on my left side, facing the middle of the bed. She snuggles right up in my face, arms thrown around my neck. And then begins the fidgeting. She'll toss, turn, play with my hair(which drives me nuts), and is generally disruptive to my sleep processes. Unsettled is a good word to describe her. Last night was no different. I calmy and gently asked her to quit moving and go to sleep. I agitatedly(my new word, you like it?) demanded that she quit moving. And then I not so calmly and not so gently yelled at her to "BE STILL, CHILD". Yes, I was crabby and tired and I yelled at my kiddo. I put my arms around her tightly and the more she turned, the tighter I held her until she finally gave up. Slowly but surely her body relaxed in my arms, her breathing was deeper and slower, until I could feel her warm breath on my nose. She was still.


Psalm 46:10 reads: 10 He says, “BE STILL and know that I am God;

Be still. I do lots of things well in this life - but being still isn't one of them. I thought to myself, as Joey tossed and turned, that this is what I must look like in the arms of the Father. Here He is, with His arms around me, and all I can do is toss and turn. And yet, He patiently(and perfectly) waits for my heart to be still before Him. Studying the Bible has taught me(and is still teaching me) who God is and what He has done. I know that He is reliable and trusthworthy both from studying His many attributes and by studying what He's done for and through His people. So, I'm challenging myself. To quit squirming and flailing so much and instead, to BE STILL and know that He is God.

Friday, September 16, 2011

The waves of life...

About a month ago, I went to the beach. I packed up the van with both kids, my dear friend Tiffany, her husband John, and their oldest daughter, Savannah. We had coolers, umbrellas, sunscreen, sand toys, goggles, and every snack imaginable. And there we headed - Galveston or bust. Once we sat through traffic, waited in line for the ferry(which the kids could've cared less about, ha!), got stuck in the sand, got out of the sand...we finally made it to the water.

Now, I am well acquainted with the beach. For as long as I can remember, Chris and I have spent time nearly every summer visiting our older siblings and grandparents in Florida. I came to love the water at an early age and have always felt so at ease and at peace when I'm near the ocean.

So I'm in the water - pretty far out. The waves are breaking and are pretty strong. I stood there, the waves SLAMMING in to my back, almost giddy. I love the rush of the waves, their strength and power to literally sweep me off my feet. As I get pulled under, swished and swirled around, I've learned not to panic. #1 It doesn't do any good. #2 No matter when/where I get pulled under - all I have to do is to look up. There's the light, the sky, my promise of getting out of the tumultuous situation. Confidently, I relax as I look up and am carried to the surface.

When I came to the surface, I watched intently as the kids played on the shore. Mandisa's song "Stronger" suddenly came to mind: "When the waves are taking you under, hold on just a little bit longer. He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger" And it hit me like a ton of bricks. When the "waves" of life hit me - instead of embracing them like I do the waves of the ocean...I often panic, flail, and act like a fish out of water. Instead of remaining calm and looking to Jesus, the light, I panic. Sometimes to be point of being stricken with fear, self-pity, and in-action. And while I try to wave to those around me and act like everything's fine - in reality, I'm taking on water and am near drowning.

As I pondered all of this, the words of Paul to Timothy in 2 Timothy 1:7 came to mind: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." This is my challenge to you, my friends as well as to myself: That when we're being slammed around by the waves of life, that we remember these two things...1. Don't panic. God hasn't given us a spirit of fear, and 2. Remember to look up - He's still right there, just as He always has been. Pray for me as I seek to live this out in everyday life.